Flowers Are Stupid
by Aokuro Hell Crew
Summary: [Aokuro oneshot] [Flower shop!Aomine] Aomine figures the guy will get dumped for buying a single flower anyway. Who cares if it doesn't mean what it's supposed to? ... He never counted on the flower being meant for him.


**A/N:** All fics posted from this account are authorized reposts from a specific group of writers on AO3. For info on who we are and links to the original AO3 fics, check out our profile! This fic was written by Kate and Melissa.

* * *

 _Flowers are stupid_. Aomine stood by that every damn day of his stupid job in that stupid flower shop. He'd thought guys surrounded by flowers were like the ultimate catch for chicks or something. But the only chicks who come into flower shops were either already taken or old as hell. And the guys were saps that were in trouble with their respective chicks. Aomine huffed in boredom as yet another granny cried over her dearly departed husband. _Flowers are stupid_ , he thought again.

Kuroko walked past the flower shop on his way to work every day, and one day decided to go in. He'd been rather fascinated with the man working there, who looked like he hated it so much, and decided to do something about it. So, he strolled in, looked around for something pretty and ended up picking a rose. "How much for this?" he asked, walking over to the employee, whose name tag read "Aomine".

Aomine glanced over, still bored, and looked the guy up and down. Bit cheap for a man in trouble with the lady. "You know, a single rose ain't gonna do much if you're in hot water. Go for the bouquet, buddy. I'm like an expert on this shit."

Kuroko looked mildly amused by this. "I'm not in trouble with anyone at the moment, so I'm hoping that this will be fine," he replied.

Aomine looked over, a bit interested now. "Drop the rose then, bud. Some girls like that. But it's kinda creepy to go with the full on lovey-dovey flower from the get-go. Pick something less clingy."

"Right. Flowers have meanings, don't they?" Kuroko recalled. "I just thought it was pretty enough to be a good gesture. Do you know what simply conveys that I am interested?"

Aomine had to think about it for a bit. When you worked long enough, you simply remembered when too many customers asked. He smiled wickedly. "Try a primrose. That's great for getting your feelings across." He walked the guy over to said flower.

Kuroko nodded, putting back the rose that he had picked up and taking one of the primroses. "One of these then."

"Just one?" Aomine confirmed. The guy was skimpy for pining after some girl. Good thing he'd picked the primrose.

"For now, yes," Kuroko replied with a small smile.

"Mm, whatever. I'll ring it up," Aomine said, shrugging. After the guy had paid, Aomine smirked and waved at the guy still standing at the counter. "Good luck with life, buddy."

"Thank you." Kuroko placed the flower down on the counter and turning and walking out to continue on his way to work.

"Er-wha-WAIT!" Aomine nearly vaulted over the counter to chase after the guy after he'd recovered from his shock. He doubled back to grab the damn thing then sprinted out the doors but the man was nowhere in sight. With a hand on his face, Aomine groaned. "Oh shit." He just hoped the guy didn't look up the actual meaning of the fucking flower.

The next day Kuroko went in armed with flower knowledge. He was less than thrilled finding out that the store worker had been messing with him by selling him a flower that meant desperation. Kuroko walked in and picked out a carnation and an orange lily. "These, please," he said, walking up to the counter.

Aomine nearly dropped the flowers he'd been trimming when he saw the guy from yesterday walk in. "Erm, these ones? That's all?" he double-checked, eyeing the two with discomfort.

"Yes, I believe so," Kuroko replied, keeping his face completely blank.

"Ah." Aomine relayed the total and accepted the cash, slightly terrified of the ice in the guy's face. Carnations-disappointment. Aomine kind of wanted to argue that point. He couldn't have _known_ the guy he'd never even seen, let alone _talked_ to, was buying flowers for _him_. It was completely not at all his fault. Totally. And the stupid orange lily. "Revenge or hatred". Hah! Revenge. The guy had a sense of humor, Aomine conceded. As the dude turned to go, Aomine slipped one of the flowers he'd been trimming-a small dahlia-into his back pocket, thankful that he'd cut the stalk short enough for it to be inconspicuous. "Have a nice day!" he called after him. He waggled his brows at the closed door. He'd be back. Aomine grinned.

When he got to work, Akashi was the one to inform him that there was a flower in his pocket, and Kuroko had been mildly surprised that he hadn't noticed it being put there. He rolled his eyes when he looked up what the flower meant. "Good taste". Aomine was informing him that he'd picked well by being interested in him. Kuroko wasn't sure he agreed.

Still he did find himself walking in the next day. "There doesn't seem to be a flower for exasperation, so this will have to do." He picked up a few violets and passed those to Aomine. "You don't seem to have much honesty, so I think I should get more than one of this flower for you."

Aomine smiled widely, sizing the guy up properly for the first time. Short. Like really short. But cute. "Hmm, I dunno. I'd say the dahlia was definitely on point. And as this is our third date, I think I should get a name this time, eh?" He rung up the violets and placed them under the counter. He'd bring them home later like all the other flowers.

Kuroko arched an eyebrow. "It's a date, is it?" he asked, not sounding overly impressed by Aomine's logic.

"Ok, maybe not so much. But it _could_ be." He grinned childishly, not at all put off by Kuroko's unimpressed look. "So how 'bout that name?"

Kuroko rolled his eyes, but ended up telling him anyway. Aomine was lucky he was good-looking or Kuroko probably wouldn't put up with this. "Kuroko Tetsuya," he said, holding out his hand to shake.

"Tetsu." He rolled it around and decided he liked that. A lot. He clasped his hand firmly, that stupid grin still plastered on his face. "Nice name. Got a number to go with it?"

Kuroko thought about correcting him, but decided there was really no point. "I do, but why should I give it to you?" He asked tilting his head.

"Cuz I'm cute?" Aomine tilted his head endearingly and mock pouted. He liked a challenge. His interest in Tetsu was growing every second. It didn't hurt that he really was _very_ cute.

Kuroko kept an unimpressed look on his face as he looked Aomine up and down, and gave a noncommittal hum as an answer.

Aomine's pout become another smile and he reached under the counter for a cactus plant he'd saved just for Kuroko. "That's alright. You can call me later instead. My number's in here." He pushed the plant forward on the counter, angling it so the bright cactus blossom faced Kuroko and the card wedged in the dirt was visible. "Read it when you get home." He smirked. "I look forward to the phone call."

* * *

 _Cactus: "lust, sex"_

 _Looking forward to our next date. ;)_

Kuroko almost laughed when he read the note.

 _A cactus from a prick seems like a fitting present_ , he texted the number.

Aomine dialed the number immediately after saving it into his phone. "Oi, Tetsu! I said to call, not text!" He had just gotten out of the shower and rubbed his hair with the towel, waiting for a response.

"I never agreed to call," Kuroko replied, flopping down onto his couch.

"But don't you love my voice?" Aomine smiled, sitting on the edge of his bed.

"I certainly am amused by your confidence," Kuroko told him, not answering the question because he didn't feel the need to inflate Aomine's ego since it was already big enough.

"Oi, bastard. That's just mean." Aomine paused. "I appreciate the text though. Even if you're the prick who called me a prick."

"Isn't it a bit forward to ask for sex before you've even had one date?" Kuroko asked, ignoring the insult.

"Well, we've already had three. Besides, isn't the third date when you get to third base?"

"I thought the third date was when you put out," Kuroko said. "But I also think most dates last longer than five minutes."

"Eh." Aomine shrugged a shoulder, forgetting Kuroko couldn't see him. "I blame you for running away. It's hard to hold a conversation when the guy you're talking to fucking vanishes."

"I had to go to work," Kuroko argued, because it was not running away. That's what he would be doing if he was late, because Akashi, his boss, would be trying to kill him.

"Mm, _sure_. Speaking of work, what do you do anyway? You know what I do. Outfit dudes about to be dumped with cliche gifts."

"I'm a detective. And my boss would become the next person that my co-workers would need to track down for murder if I were to show up late."

"Uh, fun?" There wasn't much you could say to something like that. "So when do you get off? Because I'd love to chat more over a cup of coffee or something."

"I'm off right now. You told me to wait until I got home to read your note."

"Hmm, wanna come over then?" Aomine looked down at himself and the towel wrapped around his waist. He still hadn't changed since he'd been too busy talking to Tetsu. "I've got something you should really see."

"If it's your dick, I think I might need a microscope," Kuroko said flatly.

"Oi, Tetsu! You know, that _hurts_." Aomine held a hand to his chest, wounded. "I think you have to come over here and nurse me back to health."

"Why don't you buy me dinner, and then we can talk about staying over and what we should be seeing of each other."

"You know, you drive a hard bargain, sir. But I suppose I can handle that." He didn't move to change just yet. They set a time and place before hanging up and Aomine smiled.

The screen showed a selfie Aomine had taken in a full-length mirror, naked except for the towel wrapped around his waist. The text beneath read _You're missing out, you know_.

 _Go big or go home_. Kuroko sent back a picture of himself, and he didn't cop out by using a towel.

Aomine dropped his phone in surprise. _I'm in love_. He grinned and shot back a text while pulling up his pants. _Moving dinner up. See u in 15._ When he was pulling on his shirt, he thought and sent another message: _Guess you'll have to come over to see the rest_.


End file.
